Sunday, May 05, 2013

I Know I Need to Update the Blog

To all my friends who check the blog, I know an update is in order.  Fact is, if I was to update the blog right now, it would not be a very uplifting post.  I'm trying my best to appreciate the good moments and those who follow me on Facebook see that "Life is Good".  But, to be honest - the good moments are fleeting.  Jack is doing fine for the most part, but I'm struggling. My emotions are all over the board.  I'll just leave it at that for now.

Tomorrow I have Jack's IEP to transition him from junior high to high school.  Probably one of the reasons I'm feeling down right now.  There's something not right about having a son who is high school age and still wearing diapers.


Thanks for checking in.


Celebrating my birthday this weekend with the boys
(the girls joined us for dinner too, but they didn't stick around for the picture)


E Fischer said...

Hi Ann, sorry to hear that, like me, confusion and turbulence are so strong at the moment.
When you juggle as many thoughts and feelings at the same time as you do, it's bound to happen.
When every moment of every day you are confronted with the differences of your child, vis a vis the world around you, it is bound to happen.
When you are positive, and looking towards the good things and trying to enjoy life and all that is needed to negate that is a single glance at your son, because those good things aren't part of his life, it is bound to happen.
So now that I have explained away the heaviness and darkness, perhaps so should you.
Perhaps you should believe more strongly in yourself because you do so much to create sanity from insanity and it is alright to feel this doubt and uncertainty.
When you look back at certain periods you can track the ideas, the actions, the problems and see how you lived: it makes sense afterwards.
Know that this troubled life makes sense. We cannot get rid of turmoil and doubt, especially when tired. The load does not seem to lighten and there is no better time to feel just how heavy the load is, as when things are relatively calm.
But this is time to clear the dead wood, shore up our known strengths and rely on them, and only on them. Don't give credit to the unknown which seeks to feed on our doubts.
What is real and has value is what we want, what we do give, what we create. I honestly believe this.
It is a gnarly rope to cling to, but you are not alone. And we are all rooting for Jack and you.
Fare strong! and thee well.

Ann said...

So true Eric, all of it. The calm times are often the most difficult. Thank you for this.

Susan said...

"Probably one of the reasons..." Yes I'd guess most certainly. Big transition periods seem to do that. Life can "be good" and still suck sometimes don'cha think?

I'm sorry I missed your birthday. I hope it was great. Gee, think that might be part of it too? Another.year.older. Birthdays aren't quite what they used to be, but they beat the alternative. ;) Looking forward to having a beer together one day. XOXO.

Anonymous said...

I'm praying for you, Ann. I have a high schooler who is in diapers as well so I get it. I really do. Hang in there and know that there are friends like me praying for you.
~ AmyK

Ann said...

Thank you Amy. xo

Dana said...

Love your strength my friend. You are also a wonderful mom! Jack is blessed to have you. Can u blog about where u r with his schooling? I kind of thought u said teachers were coming but I am not sure.

Wish I could something to help ease your life.

Take care and Happy late Birthday!