Monday, November 27, 2006

Jack's Perspective

It's been mentioned by many of you – some who have seen Jack in person and others who see him only through the pictures I post – that in spite of everything, Jack appears happy. Yes, JACK IS HAPPY! How can that be? Some might believe it’s because Jack isn’t all “there” (these some bodies are generally found in the medical profession). While Jack may be labeled MR by the professionals, there is no question that Jack is “here”. I know this to be true. I know it because I see it in his eyes, I see it in his smile and I feel it in his presence. If you have any doubt, go back and watch his birthday video again. His eyes say it all. Jack may not be a genius, but Jack is wise beyond his years. To acquire wisdom, one must be an observer and Jack is the supreme observer. If Jack is so wise and truly “gets it”, then I ask again, how can he possibly be so happy?

I suppose one way to analyze this question is by asking what is it about Jack’s situation that makes me so unhappy? Unpredictability, confinement, lack of control and uncertainty . . . to name a few. Yet, from Jack’s perspective, life is very predictable, he has no place he must go, he has no need to control and he doesn’t need to know what tomorrow may bring. Jack lives for the moment and every moment of every day Jack is loved, he is pampered, he is adored, he is entertained and he is shielded from pain to the best of our abilities. Any parent would do for their child what we do for Jack – there is nothing unique about us as parents. The uniqueness lies in Jack. I can’t explain it, it’s just there.

As a parent, it’s my responsibility to carry the worry and burden of this journey, not Jack’s. Therefore, while I’ll no doubt continue to fret about the unpredictability, confinement, lack of control and uncertainty and yes, I’ll occasionally be unhappy . . . Jack will continue to live in the moment and, in his own unique and wise way, he will continue to BE HAPPY.


Sharon said...

Ann you are truly a genius! I love reading Jack's blog and seeing all of the pictures because you inspire and you enlighten. You are not just like any other parent doing what they have to do, because you really get it!! and you know how to say it too! Jack is very lucky to have you for his mom and of course you are very lucky to have him for your son!

julie worthington said...

of course Jack is 'there' you can see it in his eyes and his smile. You are doing a fantastic job and yes, I understand the burden of carrying the worry for him, thats our job as parents. You have a great way of putting things in persepctive.

BTW, good luck with the neuro.

Anonymous said...

you have me in tears today! enjoy Jack's smiles and delight in his happiness you are truly a special mom.
best of luck at the appt.
xo chrisitna

Melisande said...


Jack surely knows he is loved, undeniably, by you and his family. That, my friend, is a gift, that not everyone has. He is happy because you and your family see to his happiness and he has you all on his side. He is a truly special boy. He wouldn't be so happy if he didn't know that.

Hope the matress helps. It should. I would worry about the contractures too. I know they are painful. Is he a candidate for Baclofen? (yet another thing to have done...) There are less permanent solutions too that wouldn't require surgery. Sorry, I'll shut up now. We all have "suggestions", huh?

Anonymous said...

very poignant entry Ann! Jack is definitely "happy" and very much "there"! Thank goodness he has wonderful parents to recognize and appreciate both realities and to shield him from all that is wrong with this world.


Kristy said...

Well said! I hope Jack enjoys his new mattress and I hope it works! Jack is a fantastically sweet little boy. He was definitely there when I met him--even in the pain he was in. It's all in that smile and those big eyes. You are a great mom, and Jack is a lucky to have you!

sebby said...

very touching, Ann.


Anonymous said...

Jacks eyes certainly say a lot. Anyone can see that.
Ann you are the best. Jack is so happy because of all that you and your family do for him. He does live in the moment and that really is a rare gift that most people never get to experience.