In the wee hours of the night, that little red light on Jack's toe is about the only thing standing between life and death for Jack. Because Jack has an artificial airway and depends on a machine to breathe for him, Jack must be monitored 24/7. During the day, someone is almost always with Jack and we can generally monitor him by looking at him. While we sometimes keep the pulse-ox on Jack during the day, we don't keep it on him when we take him out. At night however, I don't have night nursing and I need to get some sleep. Therefore, I rely entirely on that little red light and the machine it is hooked up to, to alert me if there is a problem. Every night before I close my eyes, I say a silent prayer asking that I please hear the alarm if it goes off. So far, I don't think I've ever slept through an alarm. It's scary enough depending on technology to breathe for your child. It's even more scary depending on technology to blast you out of your slumber to alert you to your child's falling oxygen saturations. And even more scary at times, is figuring out why your child's oxygen saturations are falling and how to resolve the problem. Sometimes . . . this is all just too scary!
It's time for me to try and catch a few hours of sleep, but first I will send up my request for no alarms tonight . . . for me, for Jen, for Rachel, for Karen, for Dana, for Nikki, for Melisande, for Kristy, for Sarah, for Julie, and for all those moms sleeping with one ear open, listening for the dreaded alarm and relying on that little red light to keep their child safe tonight.