Just shoot me now

Okay ... get a sense of how I'm feeling today? (I clearly have too much time on my hands, eh?)

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Update: Apparently the decision has been made by ortho that Jack is getting a broviac because they have already called the general surgery team and an OR time has been scheduled. Gee, nice of them to get my "OK" on this. And, the general surgeons want pre-op blood work. WHAT???? I have no doubt that the peds team docs -- who are only the "messengers" for the most part -- are drawing straws to see who has to come to Jack's room and deliver the latest news. I found out that a CT surgeon (cardiothoracic for you non-medical people :-) can also do a broviac - and the same CT surgeon who operated on Jack last summer is available and willing to place the broviac (they tell me he "loves" to put in broviacs). I told the pediatric resident that I want CT to put in the broviac, not the general surgeons. I was told that ortho called the general surgeons, to which I said ... it's my decision and I want the CT surgeons. Ortho is gone for the day and they will "talk" with me in the morning. I am beyond rational right now, but I am adamant that CT put in the broviac -- they know Jack and I like them better! Tomorrow morning should be interesting.
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Here's where we are today. Jack's first culture has been determined to be contaminated, his culture from yesterday is negative and his "bands" (indicating a bacterial infection) are down from 21% to 1%. All good things, you say. But, Jack is still running that nasty little fever. The ID team came up with a plan -- do additional cultures and if they are all negative, take Jack off the antibiotic and see how he does. Sounded like something I could (almost) live with. However, the orthopedic team (who has been incognito for days and didn't have much to say about the fever that they've known about from the get go) come up today -- en masse and making quite the entrance -- and decide that we have to be "aggressive" with this and proceed to tell me that Jack needs to get a broviac and start IV antibiotics asap. They've damn near got the OR team scrubbed and ready to go. It's really difficult to make a decision when you can't even get everyone on the same page and, especially when the people telling you to put in a broviac are surgeons and surgery to them is ... well ... no big deal! I've asked to talk with the ID team tonight before they leave and get their opinion. I seriously am losing my mind now (and deep breathing is not helping). I know we really have no choice but to agree to the broviac because the orthopedic surgeon flat out said if we aren't aggressive, "he might not survive". Surgeons ... always known for their compassion and tact.

I have NO idea what to do at this point. Someone out there want to make the decision for me? Please. If we don't get out of here by the weekend, I may very well spend a fortune and fly home for the weekend. Mark is flying out tomorrow night, as we were supposed to be on the road for home by Friday. Mark can stay with Jack over the weekend. (Fitzgibbons gang -- I'll call and let you know what is going on as far as whether I'll be at work on Monday).

That's the latest and the greatest for now.