Thursday, July 30, 2009

I Wonder

We've successfully made it through the first week of school. Eric likes his teacher and so do we. Mary is a junior this year and, as is typical for junior year - it will be her toughest year academically. The pressure is on junior year to not only get good grades, but also to score well on the SATs. Mary definitely has her work cut out for her this year, but I think she's up for the challenge. Hilary leaves for college in three weeks.

Of course, with the start of a new school year, I can't help but think about Jack and wonder what it would be like if he was going to school like everyone else.

Unbelievably, Jack should be in 5th grade this year!

I wonder if he'd like school.

I wonder what his favorite subject would be.

I wonder if school would come easy to him or would he have to work at it.

I wonder what color he'd want his backpack to be.

I wonder if he'd prefer to wear tennis shoes or sandals to school.

I wonder if he'd still let me pick out his clothes, or would he have a style of his own.

I wonder if he'd want PB&J or a turkey sandwich in his lunchbox.

I wonder what sports he'd be playing or what clubs he'd belong to.

I wonder if he'd come home from school and get his homework done right away or procrastinate like his brother.

I wonder if he'd be interested in girls yet.

I wonder how tall he'd be.

I wonder what his voice would sound like

I wonder what kind of music he would listen to on his iPod.

I wonder what his personality would be like.

I wonder if he would be a serious kid or a goofy kid.

I wonder what his friends would be like.

I wonder if he would be high compliance or a free spirit.

I wonder.

and it hurts.


Susan said...

Hugs Ann. I'm so sorry Jack can't go off to school with his brothers and sisters.

I am more than a little surprised you're back to school in AZ. We don't start for over a month.

worthy said...

I'm so sorry Ann (((HUGS))) Life is full of if onlys, and it's tough. Jack is happy and loved. xxxx

Christy said...

I hurt for you. I'm sorry things have to be this way. Regardless of all the things you've learned, all the things he's taught you, it sucks. Sometimes it's good to just to get it out and not try to sugar coat it. Hang in there and know that you and Jack are loved by many (who've never even met you).

Anne said...

XOXO-hugs to you my friend.

Cindy said...

I call these the "What ifs", and they can be torture, if you think about them too much.

Dana said...

I am sorry it hurts. Glad to hear that the kids' back to school wen well.

Marcie said...

That made a lump in my throat!!

Alicia said...


Sarah said...

Oh Ann! You brought me to tears. I was so ready to give a rebuttal to each of your questions....but the list continued and I have no answers. What I do know is that Jack's Journey isn't just about Jack. It's about you as well as the whole family. Jack is so well loved. He's the luckiest kid in the world to have you. Big touchy feely hugs, my friend!

Anonymous said...

More ((((HUGS))))

I'm terribly sorry Ann.


Anonymous said...

Ann, once again I am in tears and wish we lived closer so that we could share a blue moon and hugs.

Love you and Jack

Anonymous said...

I am going to give you a few more hugs to add to your list. It bites.