Tuesday, June 09, 2009


I like this, so I thought I'd share it.


From Changed by a Child.

Is having a child with a disability a curse or a blessing? A cross or an anchor? A barrier to what I really want to do, or a lightening rod for my priorities. At different times it is probably each of these things, but our attitude can tip the balance, one way or the other, so that most of the time it is an anchor and a blessing -- or a curse and a cross -- depending on how we have chosen to approach it.

So many people search endlessly for "meaning" in their lives, often resisting the meaning that is right there. The point is not that we are lucky to have a child with a disability because it gives our lives instant meaning. The point is that to be presented with this event, and to fail to engage it as an opportunity -- for focus, for meaning, for learning and growth, for a way to affect the world we live in -- is to miss the experience that life has offered us. However, as Arnold Beisser points out in Flying Without Wings, "In order to see the opportunities, though, you must accept what happened as if you have chosen it." (Emphasis added.)

Let me be thankful for this doorway to meaning. Let me have the courage to walk through it. Let me choose it now.


I'm a long ways from accepting this life as one I would have chosen. However, Jack has definitely given my life meaning. I continue to grow, learn and hopefully affect the world around me in a positive way because of him. Despite my claim that I'm feeling less "Jack driven", there is no question that Jack drives my bus . . . even when he's not on it.


worthy said...

Lovely words Ann. I'm still working my way through 'Changed by a Child' - it's by my bed and I pick it up nights and read a little before sleep.

Sending lots of good vibes across the pond xxxx

John and Jenna Gensic said...

That was a beautiful passage and I love how you describe your own life in terms of it. Candid and inspiring.


Marcie said...

I like that passage! I may have to use it myself. And I guess I need to check out Changed By A Child! Thanks for sharing it!!

Susan said...

Thank you for that.

Melisande said...


Acceptance...maybe something I'll do when I'm dead! I'm just a fighter by nature and giving up and giving in, especially when it comes to my kid, it's probably the last thing I will do. It just doesn't come naturally. I know you can move on when you get to acceptance, but can you move on when you have a kid with a serious disability? I don't know. Perhaps that wasn't her point. Easy to see and talk about, harder to do.

Love ya, Ann!

Anonymous said...

Wow, that is powerful. I like that, too.


Anonymous said...

Those are very powerful words. I too love how honest you are Ann. You have the courage to say what some of us can't put into words.