Wednesday, September 09, 2009

He Doesn't Want To Live On The Moon

Tonight Jack was watching one of his Sesame Street videos. Yes, I realize that a ten year old should be well beyond watching Sesame Street, but he really likes the music and singing.  Except for one song, apparently.  I was buzzing around Jack's room, getting him ready for bed, giving him his last can of food for the day and enjoying the singing right along with Jack. Then, the song "I Don't Want to Live on The Moon" comes on and I glance over and see this face:

Apparently, he doesn't want to live on the moon!  You can't help but wonder how much Jack really "gets" when you consider that he has never been able to communicate to us what is going on in that head of his.  Jack's body allows for very little self expression.  Even his ability to smile has been progressively affected because of the weakness in his facial muscles.  Yet, every once in a while he reacts so deeply to what he hears, and it's usually when he is listening to a song.  I'll never know what it was in the song "I Don't Want To Live On The Moon" that triggered the reaction I captured tonight, but these random moments of expression are a much needed reminder that a wise soul, with feelings and emotions, likes and dislikes, and a gentle spirit is very much alive in that silent and paralyzed body of Jack's.  I often wonder about the "why" of it all.  But, Jack continues to remind me that he is very much here and he understands a lot more than most people will ever give him credit for.

Here's the song, in case you want to hear it.

On a Hilary note  - she sent me a text today that went something like this "Because I'm not really fitting into my writing class, all the students just sign. It's likely I'll go into a new section. I think it's good for me, I just want to talk with others. Ok".

I can honestly say that I didn't think I'd ever see the day when Hilary would say that she "just wants to talk".  It makes me so happy that she's finally in a place where she is comfortable and willing to talk without worrying about what others will think.  

What a day.  All of it good.


StoneFace Lock said...

No matter the physical expression on Jack's face, he knows what he is feeling. Music is one of the deepest forms of thought that is expressed throughout the world. Nobody is too old for sesame street!!! Nice blog.

worthy said...

That face says it all! Maybe it's the line 'I would miss all the people and places I love' that would be enough to keep me away from the moon. dear Jack xxx
glad to hear Hilary is settling into things!

Anonymous said...

Sweet, sweet Jack. Nathan doesn't like that song either--don't know why--but he makes me fast forward past it when it comes on.

Glad Hilary is settling in so well.

I hope things remain uneventful.


Alicia said...

OK, now I am sobbing like a little baby. What a sweet boy Jack is. And yes, Jack is aware of much more than we can probably comprehend and he is very wise. Thank you so much for sharing.

So glad Hilary is doing well and wanting to talk with others. What a great time in her life!

OK, now I gotta go blow my nose! :)

Anonymous said...

I also agree that your never too old for Sesame Street. For some reason, everytime I hear that song, it makes me feel a little sad. Maybe it does the same for Jack? (hugs)

Stacey (Alex's mom)

Susan said...

Sometimes a sad song is good for getting the emotions out. I wouldn't assume he doesn't like it. Maybe it just makes him think of how much he loves his family and home. Gives me a little tear thinking of it. There is no doubt in my mind that there is so much going on inside his mind that he can't express.

I'm glad to hear Hilary is doing well, finding her way, and being true to herself.

Nikki & boys said...

Bless his heart! Those pouty faces really get me! Zachary sticks that lip out too but only if he's really upset about something. Poor Jack! Don't go trying to send him to the moon, he won't go!!!! : )

Melisande said...

I agree with Susan. I think it is a rather existential, sad song but one that makes you happy you have a home. Jack has good taste! XOXO

Hillary is strong like her mother!!:)

Anonymous said...

That song always made me a little wistful/ emotional too. Sending xoxo via the internet for Jack.
Sarah E.