Saturday, January 23, 2010

He Can Only Look at Me

It's just before midnight and as I went in to check on Jack before calling it a night, I noticed his pulse-ox was off. Yikes! That could have been disastrous. I have no idea how it got turned off, but when I turned it back on, Jack's sats were lower than normal and his heart rate was higher than normal. Jack looks fine. His airway is clear when I suction him, so that's not the problem. I ask him "what's wrong?" "Do you hurt somewhere?"


All he can do is look at me with his soulful eyes. My eyes fill with tears. As my tears drop, his eyes look deeper into mine. What is he thinking? What would he say if he could? I cannot stand that my child cannot talk to me - especially when I know he has much to say.



7 comments:

Christy said...

Oh Ann. I hurt for you both.
Sending you both love,
Christy

ssouth said...

So so sorry.

Anne said...

Oh Ann. Love you.

Katie said...

Hugs

worthy said...

Poor Jack, and poor you. Love and hugs xxxx

Cindy said...

:-( any progress with the eye gaze communication device?

Susan said...

Oh Ann! It breaks my heart. But I bet you can use your intuition to "read" his eyes. My guess is he would say "No mom, I'm okay. It's okay. And please don't cry. I love you."