Portrait of a Killer . . .

STRESS

Sorry about the scary title! My trach board friends already heard about the recent National Geographic Special titled "Stress: Portrait of a Killer" (so, you might want to skip this post :-)

One of the studies they mentioned in this Special discussed the effects of chronic stress associated with caring for a child with special needs. The study found that those of us who care for children with special needs, age (at the cellular level) on average, six years for every one year we have been caring for our child. I'm feeling pretty good considering I'm 107 stress years old! The study did find that women who participated in support groups with other mothers of special needs children were less affected by chronic stress. In addition, they found that people who reached out to help others through acts of kindness and compassion were less affected by stress.

All things considered, I think I've weathered the storm fairly well. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been sick the last ten years. If I had to list the things that I think have helped me not feel 107, my list would include the following:

> having good insurance (for the most part)
>having home nursing and having nurses who I feel 110% comfortable leaving Jack with
> working outside the home and having bosses who are understanding and flexible
> having other kids who give me the opportunity to experience the "normal" and who keep me from being too consumed with all of Jack's issues
> a few very supportive physicians who have been with us from the beginning and who continue to offer their support, insight and knowledge even though most of them no longer care for Jack
> the support and friendships I've gained from the tracheostomy.com message board*
> my ability to help others in the same shoes through the Willow Tree Foundation, and

most importantly

> SENSE OF HUMOR!

*The only support group I've ever been interested in being part of is the Tracheostomy.com community. Shortly after attending our first MDA clinic visit with Jack's St. Louis neurologist, we were put on the MDA mailing list. After receiving my first Quest Magazine (the MDA magazine), I called and told them to take me off their mailing list - it was more information that I wanted to know. On the trach message board, our children have trachs for a variety of reasons and while some will be trached for life, most will eventually get rid of their trachs. I find the experience of seeing our kids make progress and rid themselves of medical equipment to be so much more uplifting than being around other children with muscular dystrophy. It's just too depressing for me to see what lies ahead. I'd rather live vicariously through my trach board friends and families than live in the reality of being the parent of a child with a degenerative disease.

And on that happy note . . .

I'm feeling extraordinarily stressed this week as I get ready for our road trip to St. Louis. If I only had Jack to worry about, I'd be okay. But, having to get everything ready for the girls to fly out after we are already on the road, along with trying to get things wrapped up at work to a point where I can leave for 10 days . . . I'm on stress overload right now. The tension in my neck is at an all time high. Nothing a few beers wouldn't fix, but then I'd be worthless for getting anything done. I'm currently making my list and checking it twice.

Thanks for checking in. I'll update before we leave and definitely keep the blog updated as we travel through the lovely states of Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma and Missouri.