Weekend of Wii

I should be embarrassed to admit that my family spent the majority of the weekend in front of one TV or another playing Wii and various other video games. But because I don't claim to be Super Mom, I have no shame. It was a relaxing weekend spent with family and friends. I almost went into the office today. It was a bit of a mental tug-o-war deciding "should I go", "No, I don't want to go". My sensible self prevailed and I spent the day with my kids and visiting with my sister.

Weekend in pictures

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On a completely different note, I've been extremely bothered since reading the blog of my cyber-friend Jen, mom of Faith - who is vent dependent. I hope Jen doesn't mind me sharing my thoughts on this subject.

Faith spent the first year of her life, and then some, in the hospital and she finally made it home in April. Jen and her husband are school teachers and to earn some extra money, Jen recently posted that she has been babysitting two little kids in the evenings while their parents work. Caring for two "typical" little kids, it was only natural for Jen to notice the difference developmentally between her daughter and the kids she was babysitting. Jen wrote about how difficult it was to see how delayed Faith was and how sad it was for her to realize how Faith (and she and her husband) have been cheated from experiencing the "normal" baby/toddler experiences. Apparently Jen's post offended some people. In Jen's words:

I feel as though I offended some people with my last post. My apologies if I came across pessimistic and self-absorbed. It was never my intention to make those of you who do not have a sick child feel bad. It is only human to think about the grass on the other side of the fence from time to time.

The fact that Jen felt that she needed to apologize for expressing her feelings of loss and sadness really upset me. Here is what I shared with Jen and I share here with all of you:

Jen -
I too have been told, in essence, to"Cowboy up" because it's not that bad, or it could be worse. As if we don't know that. As if we haven't spent enough time in a NICU/PICU, around sick and dying children. Yes, we are fully aware it could be worse and that there are many other families in this world who are facing their own challenges. However, that does not negate our right to be sad, to be mad and to wish 'til our dying day that it was better. We are not selfish, self-centered, ungrateful people. We love our children more than life itself and we will go to the ends of the earth to do right by them. But we are entitled to acknowledge our loss. I have three healthy children, but that doesn't make the fact that Jack is not healthy okay. I'm just as entitled to four healthy, typical kids as any other mom. It really makes me mad that someone would make you feel guilty for feeling sad, for feeling a loss and for articulating it.

Yes, we all have our hardships and burdens to bear in this world. However, when someone shares that they are having a rough time of it, please don't remind them of how much worse it could be or tell them how "lucky" they are. It's so important for people to realize that in spite of the facade of being strong and handling things well, parents of kids with special/medical needs occasionally need validation, a pat on the back, an ear to bend, and a shoulder to lean on. These special parents need friends and family who will simply listen with an open heart and without judgment.

As you can tell, I feel very protective of my fellow sorority sisters. Thank you for listening to my rant.

And on a final note .... I just realized I've been blogging for over 2 years. Holy Canoli. Who knew I had so much to say!