Sunday, October 15, 2006


“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are”
Anais Nin

From where you are, you have all insisted that I made the best decision under the circumstances. The amount of confidence you have in me is a little scary, but I certainly appreciate your support. From where I am, as someone who is very tired and very angry, I guess I’m focusing on all the wrong things. I don’t recall being this angry since Jack left the PICU 7 years ago attached to a bunch of equipment he didn’t have when he entered the hospital. I always believed that when you left a hospital you were supposed to be better off than when you entered. I suppose what constitutes “better off” is all a matter of perspective. In any event, I need to get to a “happy” place and try and remember why we had the surgery done in the first place. It’s time for a major attitude adjustment!

The picture is of Jack getting his nightly head massage from me. He loves his head massages. The other one is of Mary doing what we do around our house for fun … race around in wheelchairs :-)

Have a great week!


Cindy said...

Please ask Mary to get out of that chair, she's freaking me out! Reminds me of the time I pasted Eric's head onto Aaron's body to see what he would look like without CP, not a good idea...

Anyway, Jack had the surgery for the right reason. Maybe it could have gone better, but also maybe it could have gone worse. Might help to try to look at life from more of an optimistic point of view (the glass is 1/2 full;-) Hang in there my friend.

Cindy said...

P.S. only kidding about the wheelchair, sarcastic humor is sometimes lost with text only. We took the twins to the grocery store once and Eric was fussing. Rich picked him up and Aaron decided to ride in the chair. I pushed Aaron to another isle to get something he wanted and he jumped out of the chair and ran to get his treat. Lots of people turned and looked and I just stared at him and said, "it's a miracle!" LOL!

julie worthington said...


I can really understand your frustrations. Hospitals are supposed to make people well, right? Well, no, actually, its usually a long road to well for our little ones. We went in expecting a trach for 6 weeks and came out with a trach, O2 and a feeding tube! That was NOT how it's supposed to be!! and that was 2 years ago last week.

It is a long road, but hopefully Jack will be out of that brace by Christmas and things will start to look better. There is some improvement after the surgery so that is a step in the right direction. Sending lots and lots of virtual hugs across the pond.

Love Julie

ps: do you fancy popping over to my house, I could really do with a head massage :)

Melisande said...


If we all knew what we needed to know ahead of time.....well, I've said this before....I would have squatted in the woods, given birth and ran screaming for my life! Thank God for mother genes! (or maybe we should curse God for mother genes!:P oops! I didn't say that!)

Love ya, Lady! You're a wonderful mother!

Anonymous said...


I was reading what you wrote about "good times." I think Jack can teach us all to appreciate the little things that we take for granted that are so significant, like a smile!
There are so many unhappy people that seem to have it all except love. I believe Jack knows how precious he is to you and his whole family and this makes him happy. When you made the decision to take him to St. Louis for the surgery, you did it because you believed it was the best for Jack regardless of how inconvenient it was for you. Jack is now in his way to recovery and now you know of physicians in the area that can be there for Jack when need it. Keep on treasuring the "good times" and thank you for reminding me to appreciate what counts most, love.