Sunday, August 03, 2008

My Blog Followers

Best as I can tell, there are four groups of people who read this blog:

1. Those who I've actually met in person, but don't talk with often;
2. Those who I've never met, but communicate with electronically (via email or the Tracheostomy.com message board);
3. Those who I've never met and don't have a clue are reading; and
4. Those who I see in my real, every day life

I started this blog as a way to keep family and friends updated on Jack's spinal fusion surgery. Two years later and I'm still blogging. For the most part, I blog about the mundane details of every day life. I record pictures and share Eric funnies mainly to create a scrapbook of my life that I (and my kids) will always have to look back on. To the extent it has entertainment value for those who read, all the better. Then there are those times when I share my innermost feelings and thoughts with utmost honesty and frankness (because subtlety has never been my strong suit). When I reach into the depths of my heart and soul and write about the difficulties, challenges and triumphs of life, I share a very private part of myself that I wouldn't likely share face to face with you. I don't mind sharing such personal feelings because I figure for the majority of the people reading this, I either don't know you or I don't see you often enough to worry that you'll remember what I said.

It's much easier to write from the heart if I pretend that no one I know is reading. Problem is, I keep running into people I haven't seen in a while and they start out our conversation where I left off on my blog. Talk about a feeling of deja vu! It doesn't bother me so much that people I see in person know the goings on in my every day life, but the fact that they also know some of my most profound thoughts and they are right there looking me in the eyes . . . well, I feel so transparent. It gives me pause about putting so much out there for everyone to read.

However, blogging is very therapeutic for me and I also see it as the foundation for that book I hope to write some day. So, despite the occasional feeling of vulnerability, I shall continue to share all of my story with those I know, those I don't know and those I hope to get to know. Thanks for checking in, thanks for caring and thanks for sharing your comments.

5 comments:

Rachel Marini said...

I can pretty much relate to what you're saying. As I've blogged about Gabe over the past year and a half I too have poured out my heart and revealed my deepest struggles and fears. It's always so shocking, though, when I walk into church or run into a friend, who starts telling me how much they enjoyed my words or how much it affected them. I don't know how to respond and actually feel slightly embaressed!

Whenever you blog, Ann, I always enjoy reading your posts because (as I've said many times before) have a way of expressing exactly how I'm feeling about dealing/living with a child with a ventilator. Thanks for sharing your heart! Although we've never met in 'real life' I consider you a friend and mentor!
Have a wonderful day.
Rachel

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your honesty and wish that my profession allowed me to be more forthcoming with information on Nathan's blog...

Have a great day! I look forward to your book!
Kristy

Melisande said...

Ann,

The therapeutic value alone is worth it, Ann. I wish I could feel comfortable enough to blog more myself but I have part of my past that I don't want to know about my present. I hate that because I have always been a person to live transparently. I think that's why I like you so much, you are much like me in that way...and I also feel simplicity is important. I am not built to live in complicated ways, if that makes sense. Our life, and particularly, your life is complicated by its nature and I think it's important for people to understand how complicated our lives are...

That makes your blog very important too...

Plus, it makes it easy for me to keep up with you!!

Anonymous said...

Ilove reading your blog Ann. I love knowing about Jack and getting to know you and him better.
Love,
Tess

Anonymous said...

Ann,
I check Jack's blog every day. Your words give me a daily dose of wisdom. Thank you for sharing all that you share...and I truly hope we meet some day.
xo christina